The darkest pitches lay within, me...
Is there something wrong with me? Why aren’t I good enough? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be better? Why did you make them so much better? Why can’t I be one of them?? What is destined for me? Why did you choose this sort of life...for me??
These questions..I just can’t find answer to. I call out, but no one answers..that feeling of abandonment...it’s familiar. I just feel so pointless, so insignificant and betrayed...I hate almost everything about myself, like how I get so freaked out sometimes, or how I find so hard to make friends..my mind just locks itself away, it’s uncontrollable and I just don’t feel like myself anymore..as if I’m possessed for a period of time. When I wake up everything will be nothing but mere glimpses in my memory...vague ones...but why?? Am I not strong enough to control my own mind? It feels like you’re in some else body..being the watcher of life..observing mistakes and failures but unable to do anything to stop it...
-boxed and trapped in an endless thought, only the glass walls separate us
Is there something wrong with me? Why aren’t I good enough? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be better? Why did you make them so much better? Why can’t I be one of them?? What is destined for me? Why did you choose this sort of life...for me??
These questions..I just can’t find answer to. I call out, but no one answers..that feeling of abandonment...it’s familiar. I just feel so pointless, so insignificant and betrayed...I hate almost everything about myself, like how I get so freaked out sometimes, or how I find so hard to make friends..my mind just locks itself away, it’s uncontrollable and I just don’t feel like myself anymore..as if I’m possessed for a period of time. When I wake up everything will be nothing but mere glimpses in my memory...vague ones...but why?? Am I not strong enough to control my own mind? It feels like you’re in some else body..being the watcher of life..observing mistakes and failures but unable to do anything to stop it...
-boxed and trapped in an endless thought, only the glass walls separate us
I may not know who you are in any respect, but I find you amazingly fascinating- searching, confused and discovering life- and yourself. I hope you dont give up and realise life is so much bigger than every person you know and every place you've been. Change is possible therfore a new page is only waiting for you. I hope you dont mind me continuing to follow your blog, and I do hope to one day read and see a person whose alive, completely complacent and eternally happy!
ReplyDeleteK.